No, Nose Is Not Sexy


Our Correspondent/Somewhereinindia

The girl students of a local school reportedly staged a sit in in front of the office of the District Collector Mr Parvah Nahi, IAS, supposedly as part of an ongoing protest against the alleged introduction of new uniforms in the prestigious Girls High School. The leaders of the protest alleged that the conspiracy for the change of uniforms was brewed in a social media group that consisted of ‘concerned’ members of the public and the principal was allegedly threatened with dire consequences if she did not comply with the request. As proof of their allegation, they handed over a transcript of the discussion on the group which is reproduced verbatim below.

This newspaper would like to make it clear that it does not agree or disagree; promote or condemn the ideas and opinions expressed in the following transcript.

Primandproper: Welcome to new group!  My special thanks to all your good selves for agreeing to be part. Please suggest good name for group.

Busybee: Thanks a lot for making this group. Congratulations! Quick work!

Primandproper: You’re most welcome. Please suggest good name. I’m not happy with name I used.

Alittlereason: Congratulations. Thanks for initiating.

Oldisgold: Thanks a lot. This is something all of us are wanting but nobody is doing.

Primandproper: Name for group please.

Vigil Ante: Thanks for setting up group. As always you are super efficient. Very very tech savvy and all. How about Protectors and Defenders for name?

Primandproper: No, no, very formal.

Filmyhero: How about Guard Dogs?

Waitingtobeinjured: Eww. What is this? Dog and cat and all. We are dogs or what?

Vigil Ante: We will become dogs if we have to. To protect our girls.

Oldisgold: Name you are suggesting is not bad. Dog is protecting only, na? The girls are needing our protection. It’s very dangerous times.

Vigil Ante: Yaya. Right only. And all this social media and internet and all making the danger more and more.

Waitingtobeinjured: And this Love Jihad and Western Culture of boyfriends and dating.

Oldisgold: Hey all! One shocking news is just coming on local tv. One girl from The Other School ran away with her boyfriend.

OMG! That school is very near our girls school.

Yaya and the police caught them both in bus going to nearby state. What shame for parents and school!

Don’t talk of parents. Only parents of dirty rich people are sending children there.

And look the school uniform of The Other School. I’m sharing picture. Look at skirt. How short it is! Two three inches above knee.

And they have white shirt on top. Some girls not wearing chemise or petticoat and everything can be seen.

Wearing only b*a under white shirt! Shiva, Shiva!

Why you all are only talking about The Other School? Look at our girls’ school. They also have skirt and shirt only.

But the skirt is little bit below knee and the shirt is thick material and principal madam and teachers are catching girls if they’re not wearing petticoat or if skirt is too short.

Hey, I heard some girls in our school are wearing only p**ties under the skirt. And showing off nice fashionable lacy lacy p**ties through the slit near the buckle of skirt!

Showing off p**ties! OMG! Kaliyuga has come.

And in our school also some girls not wearing petticoat under shirt. Like all this famous-vamous Hollywood actresses.

And keeping the top buttons of shirt open.   

They are small girls. They will do all this by seeing all this actress and all. We should understand that. How we were when we were small? We have to advise.

But uniform should change. We should write joint petition and give to principal madam.

And how about dressing of some lady teachers? Back of sari blouse is more back than blouse. And between sari and blouse? Sari is in Gujarat means blouse is in West Bengal. Hahaha.

Sorry, but this is not discussion about teachers. Their husbands should control them. We should give petition for changing uniform of our girls. We should protect future generation.

Yes. We should do that. We should tell her make it salwar kameez of nice thick material.

But no need of light colours. We want nice dark colours. So nothing can be seen.

And decent dupatta over kameez.

And no slit for the kameez at sides. Otherwise thighs will be seen if girls are sitting and salwar pant is bit tight.

The kameez should be below knees.

Calf length or little bit below also is ok.

Hey, I feel better than dupatta is one waistcoat over the kameez.

Some girls are having very big front part.

And dupatta not covering it properly.

Some girls are showing off that also.

What?!! Front part?

Front part. Wearing all this lacy lacy b*as.

OMG! What our ancestors said is right. Kaliyuga has come. That is why all this is happening.

I’m saying now also. Girls are small. They don’t know what to do. We should advise them. Changing uniform is not answer.

Hey, better than waistcoat is proper coat. Full sleeves. Will cover everything.

No. Feet and face remaining.

No feet. They are having shoes and socks.

I feel face also should be covered. What our ancestors said is true only.

I’m agreeing with you. How some girls are using eye liner to nicely draw their eyes.

And what will poor boys do? They will be attracted only.

Hey all. You forgot neck. Sometimes neck can be very sexy.

And hair also. That is why ancestors said not to leave hair open. That attracts opposite sex.

Better to cover hair also. We can have thick piece of cloth to cover hair and neck.

Dark colour.

Everyone is forgetting eyes. What about eyes?

For covering face there is special type mask made of special material like sun control film for car windows. Girls can see outside. But no one can see girls. It is available on Blazon India. We can recommend. It has hole for nose.  

And nose?

No, nose is not sexy. It can be left open. Girls have to breathe also, na. Poor things.


The staff and proprietors of this newspaper reiterate that they do not agree or disagree or promote or condemn the opinions expressed above. – Editor.

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